leather rhinocerous

I went to Melbourne. Fell in love a little bit. With Dali, and with shoes, and with silk dresses. Laughed out loud many times in the Dali exhibition, much to the irritation of the schoolteachers trying to impart a but of culture to their hairsprayed, farting, shrieking charges. Well I’m sorry, but there is no way that a skull sodomising a piano isn’t funny, no matter how old or how educated you are. 

My new job is going awesomely, thanks very much for asking, GOD, why so rude? I won't lie, I'm enjoying wearing pure wool pants and cotton/viscose shirts. I'm a sucker for gorgeous fabrics but they don't fit in too well with my lifestyle since I like to lounge around a lot...(read: I'm very lazy) as a result I own a lot of cashmere jumpers covered in pills. Ohhh, little tip, ebay is great for luxury fabrics because people tend to buy things based on how they look on ebay, not how they feel. As a result, plain and boring garments of the highest quality can be a bargain.

Didn’t take the camera in Melbourne which was a good thing, because it is an excessively photogenic city and I would have been pointing and shooting and wildly abusing the ‘Auto’ setting. The food was excellent, the boy ate duck and kangaroo for the first time (on different nights, I promise), watched the light show during dinner at South Bank, went to hole-in-the-wall fancy-pants posh place tucked in a laneway and ordered a side of fries with the $$$ meals. Just ask if you want to know where to get some cracker chestnut chocolate mouse with spiced wine pear and a hazelnut cigar. Gorged on Mexican on Chapel Street, got takeaway churros, ordered room service because we could. Damn straight. 

For some reason the boy bought three hats (though if he had a blog he would be writing "For some reason the girl bought three pairs of shoes") and he looks like the hardest, meanest criminal in his new slouchy beanies. "It's been emotional", I said to him, and he had no idea what I was talking about until I said it in a scouse accent. And if you don't know where that line is from then your cultural education is sorely lacking.